All men want to be great lovers and the most important factor is providing pleasure to his partner. For women, that typically means long-lasting sexual intercourse and, ideally achieving orgasm. Many men obsess over how to last longer in bed, and finishing too early is actually one of the most common things men are insecure about. There are many different ways to combat the problem, from behavioural techniques to prescription medicine.
Here are some ways you can help make sex last longer:
1. Relax and be positive. Premature ejaculation is as much a physical issue as a mental one. Try not to create a self-fulfilling prophecy by labeling yourself as sexually incompetent in any way. Approaching sex with confidence, self respect, and a positive attitude rather than fear and self-doubt can make all the difference for both you and your partner.
2. Don’t forget to do your Kegel exercises! A recent Swedish study found that men who performed pelvic exercises for 12 weeks improved their ejaculation by five-fold. Perform these exercises by locating and isolating the muscles you use to control your urine flow. Then squeeze and release these muscles rhythmically. Build the amount you can do at each time, and vary the rhythm and pattern. In just a few weeks, you will notice you have more control over your sexual response (as well as your bladder!).
3. Cut down on alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. Using these substances in excess may interfere with your ability to control
4. Don’t think of sex as a means to end. When most of us think of sex, we tend to think of orgasm as the “end goal” or the point of the whole exercise. Yet it doesn’t have to be. Sex is about so much more than just an orgasm. It’s about connection, intimacy, pleasure and passion. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to last x amount of time. Instead, think “What can I do to make my partner feel good?” Even if you reach orgasm, that doesn’t mean sex has to be over. You can continue with ‘afterplay’ in which you pleasure her and continue enjoying yourselves.
5. Live a healthy lifestyle. Healthy erections are the result of healthy bloodflow, so make sure to keep your circulation flowing. Get active, hit the gym, and stay away from cigarettes. Eat a healthy diet and don’t abuse alcohol as it can affect your performance.
6. Masturbate more often. Teach yourself to last longer by masturbating more often and getting more in touch with your sexual response. As you stimulate yourself, stop before you reach the point of no return (on a scale of 1-10, with orgasm being a 10, stop yourself at a around an 8). Give yourself time to calm down, then begin stimulating yourself back up the scale again. Do this again and again until you gain more control over your sexual release and you learn your ‘point of no return’ cues.